It is a long weekend here in New Zealand -- Queen's Birthday weekend. My daughter and her husband have gone away for the weekend to Waiheke Island and by the looks of it, they will have a lovely 'reconnecting' kind of time. She seemed very good last week and clearly the medication she is on is having an effect. She is also going to some counselling and that is also helping. She said to me during the week that she didn't think the medication was working and I just replied 'oh yes it is'!! She can't see the change but I sure can.
Fletch still is a worry. His girlfriend is extremely anxious and troubled and is now threatening harm if he doesn't spend as much time with her as she wants. He has denied this but his friend who he stayed with last week told his parents who in turn contacted my daughter. I could see this situation coming a mile away but thankfully my daughter is aware of it. God forbid he breaks up with her, I seriously would fear for her. Too much too soon with kids these days and with her mental state it just adds another dimension to normal teenage problems.
I had two lovely meet ups this week -- the first with Becca from US. We had a lovely walk around Cornwall Park and I told her all about the history of the US soldiers there during WW2 etc then we had a mocha coffee. She'd never heard of that and oh my goodness, her face when she tried it was gorgeous. Becca is just such a lovely lady and I think we are developing a really nice friendship. Kind of a mother daughter friendship which is nice considering she has no family here. I'm thinking the walks together will become a regular thing.
Later in the week I was invited to my neighbours for coffee and we had a lovely long chat too. She is a little older than me and although she has been my neighbour for 19 years we have only got more friendly recently (since she retired really).
We have the two younger boys here until Monday so that will keep us busy. They are pretty good but I know I'll enjoy the peace and quiet when they go home :)
~ Lynda
Here is Becca enjoying her first 'mocha'. We do make them rather well over here in New Zealand!
I think Fletcher is far too young to be in that sort of relationship, it is sad for the girl but her parents need to put an end to the relationship he is not old enough to cope with mental illness.How old is he 14?
ReplyDeleteYour post is just lovely as always, glad you are in a happy place.
Peta
Peta, Fletcher is nearly 16 and the girl is already 16. She is totally spoilt, a result of broken marriage where they both pander to her. There is no saying no to her, sadly. All I can say is this won't end well and I hope all the parents can keep an eye on the situation.
ReplyDeleteI guess it's a lesson Fletcher will have to learn the hard way. At least your daughter is aware of things.
ReplyDeleteAnything made with dairy is better in NZ. You have amazing cows!
Sparklingmerlot: haha... Becca had a soy mocha, she usually doesn't have dairy but I'm convincing her that you can get great quality dairy here from artisan farmers which will solve her ethical problem about eating anything from animals.
ReplyDeleteWe just had that type of situation happen this week.
ReplyDeleteA woman (who used to clean for my mother) has been held emotional hostage by her husband for 35 years. She told him last week that she was DONE and this week he carried through on his long threat and killed himself in their backyard. Luckily she was not the one who found him, a neighbor called the police. To be honest, she is pretty furious and wishes she had left long long ago, regardless of the outcome. It has been an awful 35 years.
I don’t know what to suggest about a fletcher, obviously he needs removed/separated, but how is anyone actually going to do that? This is one of those situations where it would be nice to ship him far far away for about a year. But with technology as it is, that would not even keep them from contact. How awful and how scary. And a girl who is that needy and controlling is very likely to get pregnant. . .
Vickie: One ahead of you there... her mother took her and she got the contraceptive injection (so no risk of missed pills). Yes, they are too young but what do you do? He has also beed drilled by his Mum to always use a condom. Too much information I know but sadly kids seem to rule the roost these days. I'm just the Nana... :)
ReplyDeleteI've read so much recently about Waiheje island. Hope they have a relaxing time together.
ReplyDeleteAll NZ coffees are great. But I'm greatly biased lol.
You've had some nice sociable times.
Hope the grandson situation can be sorted out. I can see why you're worried
Glad to hear your daughter is doing better. Hopefully things with Fletcher will be ok. Sounds as though your meet ups were nice. Take care.
ReplyDeletePoor Fletcher, being with someone who uses self harm as a threat is awful I was always told that generally those that threaten it don't usually do it - well we all know how that worked out for me. Even if she is not serious, the emotional blackmail is damaging to Fletcher and it is not a healthy relationship. He is either stuck or if he does try & break it off and she does try something (whether she succeeds or not) the guilt is horrendous - again I know this from experience.
ReplyDeleteLogically you cannot be responsible for someone else's behaviour or actions but knowing that does not make it any easier if they do something stupid. I think he does need to talk to a counsellor, just to help give him some perspective and to path the way for if and when she does do something. She is not just spoilt, she is manipulative & dangerous.
Tracy, yes my daughter is thinking counselling. I think she is also going to talk to her parents. It's an awful situation.
ReplyDelete