Good days and bad days

So there I was feeling like a million dollars... pain under control and doing so well!  We came over to the beach house on Tuesday and had our neighbour over for drinks.  He was amazed at my mobility and wellness, as was I.  That was then.

Yesterday I woke up feeling like shit but took my pills that the doctor prescribed.  He told me to cut one in half to start reducing the dose which I did... except that it made me so ill that I couldn't function AT ALL.  I spent the day feeling nauseous (didn't bring my pills for that over as I thought I was over that) and really unwell.  I stayed in bed all day.  I then looked at the pills again and under the stuck on label (with my name on etc) was the warning 'do not cut, take pill only whole'.  Yep, I'm sure that's why I was so sick but am pretty annoyed that he told me to cut it!

I'm hoping for a much better day today for sure.  I just want this to be over and get on with being well.  Luckily the weather yesterday was rubbish so I couldn't have gone anywhere anyway.  I won't try to walk to the beach but we can go in the car and then I will walk a bit.  

I'm busy making up the photo albums but couldn't even focus or keep my eyes open to do much yesterday.

My daughter had an appointment at Starship children's hospital the other day for Cole.  He has dreadful trouble writing and had lots of other issues and was referred on to them.  She got this miserable doctor who was very rude - the same doctor she had seen when Charlie got his diagnosis for autism.  She was basically told that there is nothing they can do and was dismissed which left my daughter feeling absolutely rock bottom.  They are going to test Cole for Celiac disease though as he as all the symptoms.  That will involve feeding him gluten for about 8 weeks first but at least we will know one way or the other.  As for his inability to write, there is nothing that can be done that will be free.  She will have to pay hundreds of dollars now for him to get some sort of private help.  This astounds me, you'd think there would be some decent help to these kids who have dysgraphia and dyslexia.   

I'll leave you with a couple of photos of Charlie and Cole doing their school end of year concert.  It had an Aladdin  theme and they both did dances which they totally rocked!!  I was so proud of them.

~ Lynda

All good !!

I had my follow up appointment with the specialist today and it went really well.  He was extremely pleased with my progress and said I've got an excellent amount of bend in my knee -- he said he would hope for that amount at around 3 months and some people never get so much bend.  He said my recovery is in the top 95th percentile. Go me :). It's all looking good and clean and he took the staples out (ouch).  We talked about medication going forward so I'm completely sorted now until my next appointment in 7 weeks.  

I still have good days and not so good days but today I feel really good.  I can walk pretty well with no crutch but will still use it for longer walks.  I try really hard to walk normally ie, straight leg out and no limp.  

Tomorrow we are off to the beach house for about a week and I can't wait!!  I'm busy making the albums for the boys for Christmas (online then get them printed out).  I've nearly finished Cole's one but then there is Charlie's, Fletcher's, the family one and some for the grandparents.  Phew... Oh well, it keeps me busy.

I'll leave you with photos we took today of my leg showing the knee replacement.  We got to see the bits he put in and wow they are heavy!  I'm so glad it's all over and just now have to hope I don't need the other one done.

~ Lynda

No wonder it bloody hurt!! That pin bit goes into my leg bone.  

I'm well :)

It's been a long two weeks let me tell you... a rough ride.  Thank you all for your comments, help and advice -- it's really appreciated.  I think if I ever have to get my other knee replaced (highly likely) then I will be much better placed to know what to do, medications to take and what to expect.  I really did go into this blind because reading too much about it all scared me too much.

Since I changed to the slow release medication the pain has certainly been better managed.  All I am now taking are two slow release codene type tablets and my four x 2 a day paracetamols. That seems to be controlling everything right now so the next stage will be to cut the codene tablets but I'm off to see the surgeon on Monday for my follow up so I'll discuss all of that with him then.

I can bend my leg back quite a lot now and can also straighten it completely so I think I'm doing OK.  I bike in ten minute blocks when I'm up to it and am gradually making my knee bend further by lowering the seat (part of the requested rehab). It's all coming together thank goodness.  

To keep busy I have been watching the news out of USA, my goodness so much going on there with politics.  I also read world news, especially regarding Covid with has become so bad everywhere it seems. We really are living a great life here in New Zealand, it's like living in a parallel universe.  The only restriction on us here is mask wearing on public transport.  I know it will all be over soon but sadly, so many deaths worldwide.

I watched Rachel Maddow the other night (I love Rachel and have watched her show for a long time).  She was alone at home, self isolating, after her partner was diagnosed with Covid.  It was heart wrenching to see her talk of her love for her partner and how she nearly lost her.  If anyone is interested, here is a link to that.  She really made this whole thing so real.

I am about to make a start on the boy's annual photo albums that I make for them every Christmas.  It's such a long job and I just can't get my head around it yet.  My brain is still a bit scrambled from the last two weeks!  My eyesight has still not returned to normal either, I even wonder if it will?  I don't want to spend money on new lenses if it's only a temporary thing... more to ask the doctor on Monday.

~ Lynda

Better today for sure!

Yesterday was a dreadful day.  I literally couldn't keep my eyes open so had to stay in bed most of the day.  I dozed on and off and the rest of the time was spent feeling sick.  Today I took less pain medication, just my slow release pill in the morning, my paracetamol, nausea pills and one quick acting pill overnight (middle of the night my leg seems to get really sore).  I wasn't nauseous at all and not nearly as tired as yesterday so thank goodness I seem to be able to get by on less pain meds.  

I did ten minutes on my bike today and was going to do more but tomorrow's another day.  I do lots of stretching and trying to bend my leg in more and seem to be doing OK with all of that. 

Things are looking up but I still can't imagine actually being able to walk normally with this knee!

We have been doing click and collect grocery orders as it's easy for Stu to just pop to the supermarket and get them.  Also that way I don't have him buying all the wrong stuff or paying way too much for something I know can be cheaper.  He has no concept of prices and picks up the first thing he sees regardless of cost.

Today my son-in-law participated in a fund raising event called "Throw your boss off the Sky Tower".  It involved bosses, nominated by their employees, jumping off the Sky Tower and my SIL was crapping himself with nerves.  He handled it by not thinking about it until the last minute but you could tell he was pretty relieved when he landed.  He hates heights so this was a massive challenge for him!

I'm so glad things are looking up for me, it's been a difficult time for sure.

~ Lynda

Jumping off the tower...

The boys went in to watch their Dad jump, I bet they were excited!

Much improved but...

Yes, there is a but.  The new drugs I got are better for pain but I'm now having difficulty keeping my eyes open.  I was also sick yesterday and have felt sick for hours today.  I have taken the anti nausea medication but that didn't seem to work. Apparently this only lasts a few days but I think I'll reduce the amount of pain medication a bit.  I'm definitely not in as much pain as I was over the weekend which is great.

Another odd/interesting side effect I have had since the operation has been to my eyesight.  I usually wear glasses for TV and driving (distance) and have only needed reading glasses for sewing.  Now my distance vision is great and I need glasses for all close up work!  I put my glasses on when in the car the other day with Stu and they made my vision all blurry so I took them off and boom... it was like having them on before the operation.  I don't suspect this will last but if it does I need to get my eyes retested and all new glasses!

I'm not eating much at all -- yesterday's breakfast was brought up and dinner was the tiniest amount of food.  I did have some scrambled egg and toast for breakfast and so far I've kept it down but only just. 

I've hardly done any exercise but am managing stretching and flexing -- I seem to be doing OK.  I'll get fully into more when I feel up to it.

That's my lot, I feel sick again.

~ Lynda

More drugs

We went to the doctor first thing this morning (couldn't get in yesterday) and she has prescribed much stronger pain relief  - I think it's similar to what sparklingmerlot was taking (yesterday's comment).  I have a slow release oxycodone and an immediate release one as well.  I still need to take my anti nausea medication and paracetamol.  I feel like a druggy but seriously have no choice -- the pain has been so bad and I simply can't take it anymore.  It's not just knee pain but a dragging, gnawing pain right down my leg.  

Hopefully now I can get some exercises done and relax a little without pain.  I'm pretty annoyed that I wasn't given good pain relief earlier but I suppose everyone is different.  I don't usually have a low pain threshold (had two babies naturally) but this is so different.  It just wears me down completely.

Stu has made up a chart to record what I take and when and he's being a really good nurse :) Last night I was so upset he gave me a foot massage (not something he'd usually do) and we put on 'spa' music.  It was nice.

I'm hoping my eyesight returns to normal after all of this!  I now need reading glasses and my long distance glasses make my vision worse.  Luckily I'm not driving anywhere (can't anyway on this medication).

Hopefully this will all help me.  

~ Lynda

Miserable

Sorry to be negative but I'm not feeling so good.  I don't have a great understanding of pain control.  Thankfully the Tramadol in combination with an anti nausea tablet seems to work and not make me sick or too dizzy.  I am so confused about it all especially as I'm meant to be doing exercises about 5 times a day and I find it hard to to anything at all.  We are going to phone the specialist on Monday to try to find out what I should be doing and what I should be expecting.  Last night was awful, so much pain but I now know to take more of the serious pain medication so hopefully that won't happen again.

Add to this constipation (which is expected after surgery) followed by an entire night of the opposite.  Let me tell you, getting up and having to go to the toilet every five or ten minutes was not pleasant.  

One thing that has happened since the operation is my eye sight has deteriorated -- blurry vision.  I mentioned that as the hospital but there seemed to be no concern.  I've read that the medications can do this so I will just have to wait and see if it comes right.  I need to concentrate of staying hydrated too. I'm seriously just so miserable and border line depressed about it all.  I can't see an end to it all at the moment. 

Stu is out cutting our massive hedge today and Fletcher is here to help clean up (usually my job). 

So that's me today, I truly hope I can post a more positive update soon.

~ Lynda

Damn, blast, bugger

First day home went well.  I was keeping myself iced, doing my physio and slept well.  So far so good until...

Yesterday.

I was doing so well but really needed tramadol for the pain and had been hoping to avoid that because it makes you a bit dizzy.  With Stu's help I got on the exercycle and did half rotations and finally managed full rotations with made me so elated I actually cried (yeah, it's all pretty emotional for me).

I had been super careful whenever I got up and used my crutches, clung on to everything secure around me and was doing so well then I fell.  FUCK.  Yep, the worst thing I could do.  Stu was in his office and heard the thud and there I was on the floor after ripping off my silver bracelet, putting a hole in the wall with the coffee table and ripping the dressing on my wound.  It took me awhile to get up and I just let it all out and cried and cried with both the total shock of what happened and the worry that I had damaged my knee.

We went straight to see my GP who said it all looked good but I had to get the wound dressed again.  I also had to file for ACC (accident compensation) in case it caused further problems.  My leg swelled up again and basically I was back to square one.  I can't even tell you how careful I am being but even with that I nearly lost my balance again this morning.  

I think it's OK and thankfully no damage was done other than to my wall.  Obviously if I have any issues I will call the surgeon but I'm due to see him in just over a week anyway.  I'm feeling really stressed about not doing my physio but at the moment I simply can't even think about that.  I do basic stuff that I can do while seated but just can't trust myself not to fall again.

I cry a lot. I hate asking Stu to do stuff but know I don't have any option.  I've never felt so helpless before and it all just sucks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a happier note, yesterday was Fletcher's 15th birthday and they popped in on their way home from dinner out to have the birthday cake with us which was lovely.  He's such a lovely boy and we are so proud of the young man he is becoming.  

That's me for now, sorry about the negative post but I feel I need to record it to look back on when I'm feeling so much better.  Please let me feel better...

~ Lynda

Birthday cake... yum.  Clearly he takes fashion advice from his Mum, ripped jeans on them both :)

I'm home... thank goodness

I had the night from hell last night -- I was hot and sweaty all night and added to that I had urinary urgency.  So imagine pain when moving and having to get up about four times to the loo... I didn't sleep and by this morning I was a zombie.  I have no idea why I had that unless it's a hangover from the catheter I had in (which was taken out on day 2).  Urine doesn't show an infection.

Food has not been great, mainly because seeing the name of something on a menu and seeing it when it arrives is two different things.  I thought I'd change it up this morning and get breakfast sausage and sautéed potato.  It was awful so I was left only with a slice of toast.  Oh well, such is life.  Stu is making a Caesar salad for dinner so I'm looking forward to that.

I've got lots of pain medication to take and need to get on with my physio but it's pretty darn painful.  I think I'll take the more serious pain relief before the stretching exercises! 

I have a new dressing on my suture which looks way less scary so I won't be upsetting my boys so much now.  

Regarding the pain (for Isabel who is going to get this surgery), it's not so bad really.  I find it more of a dull ache through my leg which is pretty constant and that wears me down a bit.  I can move around pretty well and find just using one crutch works well around the house.  Once this is over and done with I won't be afraid of getting the other knee done if I need.  It was more the anaesthetic and morphine that messed with me.   

Hopefully I'm much better tomorrow after sleeping in my own bed!!!

~ Lynda

Home tomorrow

Well it's been up and down for me -- I've slept reasonably well which is good but I'm still lacking much energy.  I had quite a bit of pain in my lower leg today so had to have morphine again.  Hopefully that will not be needed from now on.  

I've been doing the physio exercises which are really difficult.  Getting the full use of my knee back will not be easy but I know it will happen.  I can walk around now on crutches and can also shower and toilet on my own which is great.  The surgeon put a new kind of plaster/cover thing on my wound and every nurse who comes in comments on it -- it looks like a pork roast with the string wrapped around.  I have a photo but it might gross you out if I post it.

Today the boys came for a visit as they had no school -- it's also Stu's birthday so they both made him a birthday card.  Poor Charlie didn't know what to do when he saw me, he his behind his Mum and nearly cried!  He came right of course and we ended up having lovely cuddles.  It was lovely having them all here xx

It's Fletcher's birthday on Wednesday and he'll be 15 years old!  No present from us on the day as he's already had an iPhone plus ear buds from us, I think that's enough!  He's coming to stay on Friday which will be nice.

I'm going to continue seeing a physiotherapist after I get out of hospital, I think my insurance pays for some of this at least.  I know it's very important to get full use of my knee early on.

Right, a few photos taken today.

~ Lynda

Charlie and Cole -- cuddles after being scared when they first saw me, they don't like to see Nana not well.

Poppa and Charlie

The 'getting better, no makeup' hospital photo

Not so good

So here I am at 3 am feeling miserable.  My leg hurts, I feel nauseous and everything is painful.  I'm on all kinds of painkillers but it turns out this is a pretty painful procedure (I knew it would be). I'm on anti nausea pills as well.  I can't just get up to go to the toilet because I'm strapped into this pump this on my feet to help prevent DVT.  I need the help of nurses to do anything.

I did manage to get some sleep and I'm so hoping today will be a better day than yesterday where I was so tired.  

I'm not really eating either.  I have to order what I want the day before and find that I'm leaving it all - I hate wasting food.  Today I've only ordered a little food.  So there you go, totally miserable and hoping to feel better really soon.  

~ Lynda

Edit:  Well it's now 12 hours later and I'm feeling a lot better. I had a real low this morning.  I ended up being sick and given two lots of intravenous medication for that which made me go completely foggy in the brain.  When the specialist came in to see my I couldn't even get any words out. I couldn't eat any breakfast but did manage some clear chicken soup and a bun for lunch along with some crackers and cheese.  I'm sure I'm on the mend now as they are stopping the medications that were causing the issues.  Hopefully I'll still get enough pain relief though!

I got up on crutches today for the first time and I'm sure I'll get the hang of that with practice.  The staff are all so patient and I just keep apologising for being so pathetic.  

Thanks for the comments, I won't reply to them all individually but I love hearing from you all. 

All done

I had my knee surgery yesterday and it went really well.  The doctor said it was quite bad so clearly I'm glad I didn't have to put up with it for much longer.  I didn't sleep at all last night due to having a blood pressure monitor go off every half an hour and also an alarm that says my oxygen was dropping.  Thank fully they upped the oxygen to stop that but it was a long night.  It will be easier tonight because I won't be attached to so many things.

The staff are lovely and my private room is wonderful.  I started on the physical therapy today and have already been up on a walker.  That's what I'll be using to get to the loo until I get more steady on my feet and master the crutches.

So onwards and upwards... I'm looking forward to being more mobile again in a few months.  

Thanks for your best wishes, it's much appreciated.

~ Lynda

One last look at my old knee.

Ready to go to surgery.

And not forgetting my wonderful surgical underwear :)

Damn and blast

 EDIT:  my covid test was negative (of course).

At the testing centre, waiting for my turn

Last week when we looked after the boys they were just getting over a cold.  My daughter had both of them tested for covid and they were negative.  As luck would have it I then got the cold.  We got back from the beach house yesterday and I phoned up about my surgery and was told that unless I have a negative covid test, I can't go for surgery (I knew that anyway).  

So off I went this morning to the pop-up testing centre at Western Springs and got my test done.  They said the result should be within 24 hours so I'm certainly hoping I know by Friday morning so that I can go for my surgery!  

I'm 100% sure it will be negative as we don't have community transmission at the moment in Auckland and I've not been anywhere to catch it.  

So I'll be watching the US elections and waiting for my result :)

~ Lynda

All good

I got my test results back and they were all good - no nasty bugs so my operation will go ahead.  I also got my colonoscopy done and another polyp removed.  I'd had a bit of diverticulitis the previous week so apparently during my colonoscopy they had to give me more medication because it was uncomfortable.  I wouldn't know because I was sedated the entire time!  The prep for this was dreadful -- usually I manage to drink the entire 3 litres of the stuff that makes you go but I vomited some up this time.  Yuk... three more years until I have to do that again.

We went to my sister's 75th birthday on Saturday and then came over to the beach house for a few days and home tomorrow.  Stu's Dad came for dinner tonight so that was lovely.  He has visibly aged this year which has not been helped with his wife dying and the stress of her will being challenged.  That has all been sorted now but he has certainly settled for less just to end it all.  At 84 he doesn't have years to spend arguing over a will and just wants to get on with life.  He's bought a lovely home in a retirement village and is very excited to move in after Christmas.

My sister seemed pretty surprised that I was at her party because I've not answered any of her phone calls.  You will recall she was spreading the story that my Stu 'came on' to her... untrue of course and even though I went to her party, I'm still angry at her lies.  You simply can't believe anything she says and I could tell she was telling lies even in the short time I was there.  It was lovely to catch up with other family though so worth putting up with her for a short time.

I've been for a few walks while here -- just short ones though due to my knee being sore.  It's not been so bad the last few days, of course it's not so bad when I'm due to get surgery!

OK that's my lot, home tomorrow then a haircut and colour on Wednesday then surgery on Friday -- yes, I'm scared!!

~ Lynda

Make up on ready for lunch out.

The boys and me at my sister's birthday lunch.

The beach - of course I have to put in beach photos!