On our own again :)

We had a really lovely time with the family and the boys were just delightful.  Charlie is just such a beautiful, lovely boy and Cole is funny and clever.  Fletcher?  Well hey, he's 15 now so what can you expect... he still came in and gave me a kiss at bedtime though so he's still my boy.

I got on well with my daughter and her husband and there were no issues at all.  I cooked all of Christmas lunch and let them relax.  It all turned out well and Stu's Dad also had a lovely time I think.  Yesterday the weather was great so we went to the beach (I drove, Stu was still worried about my knee going on me again).  Cole went fishing with his Dad and Fletcher and Charlie boogey boarded for ages.  When Cole found out that Charlie could now boogey board he was all fired up to show how he could do it it as well.  The funny thing is that it was the FIRST time for both of them, they'd always been too scared to do it before but once they had one ride in on a wave that was it, they were hooked.

Today Stu and I walked to the beach and I had hardly any pain so my 'good' knee is back to normal for awhile thank goodness.   

The kids all left this morning for a week's camping holiday at Taupo so after spending a few hours cleaning the house and washing all the linen etc we relaxed in the peace and quiet.  We took down the Christmas tree and any little decorations around the place as well.  All is back to normal.

Tomorrow there is an airshow in town so we will be off to that and also pop in to see Stu's father again.

That's all my news for now.  I hope you all had a lovely Christmas with loved ones.

~ Lynda

Christmas morning - lots of presents and lovely fun!

My present from Stu was a new MacBook Air M1 (latest technology... a fantastic upgrade from my old one! (not my photo, this is screen grab but it's the same colour, space grey)

The boys decorated the pavlova - a work of art!

At the beach watching the boys boogie boarding later in the day

Fletcher, Cole and Charlie

Stu helping Charlie dig a really deep hole

Me, of course, getting some sun on my legs.  It was so lovely to finally get to the beach! Horrible scar but I know it will fade in time.

My daughter with Fletcher and Charlie 

Charlie catching a wave... with a big smile on his face

Christmas Eve

The kids are all here and we've had a lovely evening.  Tomorrow is Christmas Day and the boys are all so excited.  They were worried that they wouldn't fall asleep but had no trouble by the time they went to bed.

The presents are around the tree and everything is going well.

Tomorrow Stu and I are cooking Christmas lunch (I'm not going to stress, it's just a roast... just for more people) then after that it's all summer relaxation.  I've made the desserts today and also we had birthday cake for my daughter who is 42 tomorrow.  

My knees have been OK today -- my operated knee gets better each day and my other knee behaved itself today although I didn't do much, just walking around the house.

I had a lovely long online chat to my son and his partner last night.  They are in Sydney and are so glad they didn't book a holiday as they are locked down there at the moment. He had some good news -- a movie project that he has been working on for a few years now has finally got the green light and will go ahead with the backing of a major film studio.  He will be the director and he has some great talent lined up.  He now just how to sort the legal details of the contract with a US lawyer and it will be all go!  

Merry Christmas to you all, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas day with loved ones.

~ Lynda

Our rather sad Christmas tree bought as a fundraiser for the local emergency helicopter.  Not the best tree we've had but it's fitting for 2020 :)

A better day today?

Yesterday was a real bummer for me.  Yeah, total pity party... woe is me etc.  I cried lots.  Stu has to go out every day at the moment and help his Dad pack and organise his stuff so I'm here alone which is usually fine because I can walk to the beach or ride my bike to the shops etc.  I simply can't do either at the moment and when I did try to ride my bike I realised that the gears were not working so tried to adjust them and then the chain fell off and I got covered in black grease and just sat and cried. When Stu got home he helped fix it but I was simply too scared to ride it for fear of falling off and hurting my knee so I cried some more.

Clearly all of this has left me a bit depressed and I tend to cry at the drop of a hat at the moment which is totally not like me at all.  I do remind myself that everyone is alive and well, I am well (other than my knees) and I have everything going for me.  I just think I have had enough and this inability to just walk where I want or do what I want has worn me down.

My 'good' knee started to fully go on me again the other night and I've basically been nursing it so that I can at least walk a little when I need to.  I'm so over it and also so bloody annoyed that I will probably have to go through this entire knee replacement thing sooner than I thought.  

I also felt sad because on Facebook -- yeah where you see others living their best life -- I see friends out every day and night at fun work parties or get togethers drinking champagne or at vineyards etc.  While I'm happy for them, it brings home to me that I'm sitting here alone all day.  Poor Stu has had to cope with my dreadful moods and outbursts of anger and tears.  I can't even have a glass of wine and believe me, at this time of year it's when I notice it the most.

Today I plan to have a much better day.  He has to go off again all day but is picking up a grocery order then will be home late afternoon.  We plan on having a meal out tonight at the local restaurant so that will cheer me up.  I'm making a birthday cake for my daughter today and then they all arrive tomorrow.  Having them all here will lift my spirits I'm sure :)

Sorry to grumble, to be honest I am often 'down' before Christmas, it really is not my favourite time of year for some reason.  I usually perk up afterwards when it is just holiday time. 

There will be happy holiday photos soon... 

~ Lynda

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas...

Yes, not long now!  Thankfully I don't need to go near a shop, all I need to do is relax and wait for the family to arrive on Christmas Eve.  The little local supermarket is well stocked so if I need anything, I know I can get it there.  A couple of years ago that wasn't the case and we'd have to travel over to Whitianga to get most groceries.

My operated knee is slowly getting better but does give me trouble in bed -- I find I have more pain trying to get comfortable but I'm sure that will improve with time.  My 'good' knee is still not right and I have to be so careful ALL OF THE TIME.  It is not as secure as it used to be and gives out on me every now and then.  I have to walk with it kind of straight all of the time so the result is I still can't walk normally!  Thankfully the pain has gone and the only time it is painful is when I go up or down steps.  I just hope it gets me through the summer!

The world seems to be in a lot of pain at the moment with the corona virus and I take no day for granted here.  If the new strain gets here from UK (the one that is more contagious) I'm sure we will end up in lock down again.  We have been so very lucky here to have our freedom but that could change at any time.

I am sick to death of those who say that it's just a 'cold'.  I sometimes read Chef Pete Evans' Facebook page and he has gone from being a chef who promotes healthy eating (I used to follow him) to a complete conspiracy theory QAnon person.  Nearly every post he writes now is pro-Trump or anti the virus/vaccination.  He calls it a simple cold and those who fear it are simply clowns.  I know we all have our opinions but seeing the dreadful deaths being suffered by so many overseas I wonder about his complete lack of empathy.

It's a gorgeous day here and I am going to try to walk to the beach later.  I managed that yesterday but it really is hard work -- a simply stroll is now a major effort due to both knees not being 100%.  

If I don't come back before Christmas, I hope you all have a great day and a happy holiday break.

~ Lynda

My other knee and a little history

Firstly let me say, with much annoyance and tears, that my other 'good' knee has completely gone at this point.  As I said yesterday, it was pretty sore a couple of days ago and then seemed pretty good on the day of the Christmas party.  Yesterday, however, it 'snapped'.  I mean it literally just went and the pain was like a knife being stabbed into my knee.  I couldn't walk or stand at all.  I rested it all evening and poor Stu had to wait on me.  Luckily I made it to the toilet later and bed.  

This morning it is very, very tender and I know if I put any weight on it the pain will return.  Other than medication and anti-inflammatories there is zero I can do about it and can only hope that it will become 'walkable' for the summer break.  I have a specialist appointment in January so will ask to get this knee X-rayed as well as the other one. It sure looks like another knee replacement will be sooner rather than later.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Vickie asked lots of questions so I thought I'd answer here :) The party we went to is a day time/evening one that has happened every year for many, many years.  I've only been attending for around 18 years.  It is for family and also 'adopted' family ie, people who Stu's father and stepmother met years ago and consider to be like family.  It is a given that everyone goes so there was no risk of anyone not attending (ie, missing out on the surprise wedding).  Stu's dad did insist that everyone be there by 4.15pm this year and did ask for people to confirm so now we know why!  

Stu's sister always makes any gathering a boozy affair as she is a big drinker and for years Stu matched her beer for beer until I simply refused to put up with it.  He does not get drunk now (well hardly ever) and I am very grateful for that. His habits have changed and I am very happy with that.

Some of the younger cousins and nephews are the ones who my daughter meets with and it's instant drinking time.  She does not drink often but is more of a big drinker when she does (pretty sure it's the same with her husband, they love a big blow out).  I hate it.  Even when I drank wine, which looking back now was too often, I never got drunk.  I loved a small glass or two or three and then I'd stop.  I always knew to stop whereas some people don't have that in them at all, especially when their piers are in party mode too.

Clearly now though I don't drink at all.  I think I'm happy about that :)

Another question: There is never drinking and driving.  Everyone these days gets an Uber or taxi.  That is one really positive thing that has changed in our society especially with the younger generation.  I don't know of anyone who doesn't make an alternate plan when drinking.  Some stay where they are but most either have a sober driver or Uber. 

A little history.  My father was an alcoholic but I never knew growing up because when I was little he stopped completely - my mother gave him an ultimatum from what I gather.  He was a drunk, the kind who rolled in from the pub in a dreadful state and I can't imagine how it must have been for my mother for years.  After she died in 1978 he resumed drinking and would go to the local RSA club and get drunk.  He only stopped when he moved with my brother to a place where he couldn't drink! 

My grandmother was an alcoholic. After her husband died in the 60s she turned to whiskey and when we went to her home (she lived in the South Island) to 'rescue' her (she went to a mental institution to dry out, she went completely mental with the booze) we found literally hundreds of little white horses in jars.  Each one had come on a whiskey bottle and she'd saved them.  Apparently the local hotel was delivering her whisky for a long time - sad.

My daughter was not brought up to see lots of drinking, I was never a party animal!  Her drinking started when she went flatting and I know it got quite bad and I feel that's when her anxiety and depression surfaced. There has never been a time when I've been able to control that.  

So that's a little history on my dislike/hate of drunkenness.  My mother never drank.  My sisters don't drink and in fact the only 'drinker' out of my entire family of 8 siblings is my oldest brother (and me of course when I drank).

So that's the story - I can only hope that my daughter changes her 'party' ways at some point but there is not much I can do except chat to her when she is in a receptive mood. It's a very difficult conversation to have with someone but I think I'm ready to talk to her about it again soon.  How to do it without being seen as judgemental though??

Hopefully my knee will get better so I can enjoy the summer. My operated on knee is getting better all the time.

~ Lynda

Vast improvement!

Over the last few days my knee as improved a lot.  I can now walk up and down stairs the 'normal' way but still keep a good grip on the bannister.  Previously I was walking down one step at a time slowly, now I can go left, right, left, right etc.  Yesterday was Stu's family Christmas -- the last one held at the house on the beach -- and I did a massive amount of walking and walked up and down the stairs there many times!  Yes, I could have rested up but I wanted to help as there is always so much to do.

An added surprise was a wedding!  While giving his traditional speech, Stu's Dad also said that there would be something handed out to everyone... it was a wedding invitation for his granddaughter wedding (Stu's deceased sister's daughter).  Here is the invitation with faces blurred (best to do without asking permission).

After that the room was cleared and the wedding set up and before we knew it the bride and groom were getting married!  It was lovely, especially when she walked out and her cousin who gave her away was holding a photo of her Mum who would have been the one to give her away had she lived. The groom's parents and brother were there but we hadn't clicked that it was for a wedding, just for the Christmas party!

After that it was a lovely night but oh so tiring!  The boys had their lolly scramble (sugar overload), dinner was wonderful and there were presents for all the kids and then $10 presents for all the adults.  I was so sore and tired by the time we got home and my leg ached all night -- I did overdo it.

On a downside to the night my daughter got into her party mode/alter ego, 'Patricia'.  I don't particularly like 'Patricia'.  When my daughter meets up with certain others too much drinking occurs.  I'm helpless to intervene, they are adults and that's their way of having fun but I was so bloody angry last night.  She got 'drunk' way too early... she started on the wine around 3pm and was well on her way by the time the wedding started.  By kids' present time she was boozed.  By food time she couldn't even put food on her plate without it slipping off and her husband was not much better.  

I have no problem with people enjoying a drink but I hate drunkenness.   I especially hate it when some people are sober and helping and being responsible adults and looking after kids or cooking and clearing up and others are out on the lawn totally pissed.  You get the idea.  Then to add insult to injury some of the 'others' who were also drunk asked if we (Stu and me) would take the boys home and could my daughter and her husband stay the night.  Yep, total blow out.  You might be able to sense my disappointment at my daughter?  Not surprising though as it's a regular thing when she gets together with this lot.

They all will go home today (from the beach house) and we'll stay on for another night.  There's loads of stuff to put away, sort and clean up here but once they've all gone it won't be so hard.

Oh, and my other knee is playing up so it's definitely looking like I'll need to go through this whole knee replacement thing again... oh the joy.  I had a little cry about that but that's life.

~ Lynda

UPDATE:  Daughter came home and I didn't mention a thing.  Not worth falling out over.  It's just the way it is and I don't want to stir up bad feeling.  I think she knows how she acted without me telling her.

Present time for the kids - what a frenzy it was!!

The lollie scramble - the boys were so excited :). There were more kids than this but that's Charlie in the light blue shirt and Cole in the black T shirt.

Slowly, slowly...

I really do feel that I'm not doing much better but I suppose I am but it's slow.  I am pulling back on the pain relief now and while there is pain, it's not severe.  I can walk pretty well but it is uncomfortable and I can't wait for the day I can walk pain free!

My daughter popped around this morning for a lovely long chat - they are going to buy a site on a camp ground up north which includes an a large onsite caravan with an awning.  They are so excited because it will include a boat park which is something they don't have at their house so they'll now also be able to buy a boat.  The downside is that if we continue to go over to the Coromandel for our breaks and they go up north we will hardly see them!  We really are left wondering what to do.  So many decisions to make but no hurry.

We'd love to live up north... sell here and buy a home an hour or two north of Auckland but that leaves us with the dilemma of Stu's ageing father being about 4 to 5 hours drive away and that really won't suit us right now.  Who knows what we'll do?  

I've finished three photo albums, one for each of the boys and have had them printed out.  I got three copies of Fletcher's one - one for him, one for his father and the other for his grandparents.  I'm not working on one for the other grandparents.  It's such a big job but I'm getting there.

Other than that life is good.  I had a clear mammogram this week so I'm very pleased with that - adding breast cancer to my not so healthy year would not have been ideal!  I think I've ticked all the health boxes now so fingers crossed I'll be good for awhile.  

~ Lynda

Here's me and my leg since the dressing has been off.  Also a close up of the same photo.  It's looking way better than I thought it would.

How cute are these two little boys?  Stu took this photo the other day while they were playing in the back of his car.

That's Stu's father in the back of that car as Santa.  He does this every year for the local Whitianga Christmas parade.  He loves it!

 

Opps... it's been over a week!

I'm doing well.  I've reduced my pain medication to only one slow release pill in the morning, still taking the paracetamol and having one anti inflammatory pill at night.  I can walk pretty well now without any aid and so far, on just two days this week, I clocked up over eight kilometres!  That was just shopping. On Wednesday my daughter and I hit the mall and took care of most of the presents plus spent absolutely ages walking around looking at all the new shops and restaurants in the new section of Sylvia Park Mall.

It was really lovely to spend the time with her while she was in a really happy mood and I really pushed myself to the limit with all the walking and standing I did!  I figure it's great therapy though and I know that with my 'old' knee I would have been hobbling around in pain way more than now.  I then went to the local shops on my own (first time driving and out on my own) and walked around a bit there.

Yesterday Stu's father came over and we all went to a furniture store where he knew one of the sales team and he/we picked out all the brand new furniture he wanted for his new home which he moves into in January.  It kept it simple to only look at one store so we didn't get confused with too much choice.  He chose three new beds, a lounge suite, dining table and chairs, coffee table, bedside cabinets, TV and a very special lounge chair specifically for him.  It's electric and so easy for him to get up from - he has rheumatoid arthritis and can't stand up by himself from an ordinary lounge chair.  This new (expensive!!) chair has an electric control that tilts the chair forward and up to make it easy to get up plus it has an electric foot rest and tilt back function.   I jokingly said he won't need his new bed because he'll fall asleep in the chair :) 

I think he was very grateful for our help and advice in picking out everything because it was pretty overwhelming.  Thankfully he has great taste and everything he loved was fresh and modern.  He's 84 years old and said 'Oh, I don't want all that old fashioned stuff'... how gorgeous. 

We have the two youngest boys coming to stay tonight as the mother has a mammogram late afternoon.  We both had one scheduled for earlier this week but the equipment needed urgent repair so both of our appointments were changed.  Mine is now tomorrow morning - always good to get that out of the way for another year.

Did I mention that my daughter is an amazing mother even though she constantly doubts it?  She reads them an entire chapter of a book every night.  I mean, who does that?  They have been through most of the Enid Blyton famous five stories and now they are on to the Harry Potter books.  Of course, it has made them Harry Potter crazy which I think is gorgeous.  I'll leave you with a photo of them yesterday after Mum bought them some accessories.  They were very happy indeed!

~ Lynda