Exercise and other stuff

After seeing the struggle Stu's father has with total lack of muscle strength I have decided to work more on myself.  Heck, I'm 69 this year and do struggle with things like getting out of a bath.  I can easily get off the floor (something many elderly people struggle with) but I don't want to ever get into the situation where I can't.  

I have an exercycle and put it directly under the airconditioning vent so that it keeps me cool.  I did have every excuse not to use the exercycle but am now making it a morning habit.  I'm also adding hand weights to work out my arms and try to add more exercises as I go.  

Last night Stu and I went out for a lovely dinner.  My daughter gave me a voucher for the meal for my last birthday but we hadn't got around to using it!  We don't do 'dressed up' meals much these days, just usually the odd pub meal while motorhoming.  

Today my grandson F is going to the private, family cremation of his grandfather. F's father has come back from overseas so the entire family will be there and it will be incredibly sad.  He was asked to bring something to put into the coffin and he has chosen a favourite photo from when he was little.  The memorial funeral will be next week and will be massive. His grandfather was John Anderson who was the founder of Contiki in Europe.  There are literally hundreds of people who will attend and I'm sure, share stories of their time either working for Contiki or travelling with them.

I think we'll be going to the memorial/funeral next week out of respect for the family—they were always so lovely and kind to us and to F.

We have the two younger boys all weekend while their Mum and Dad go away on a glamping weekend.  They are very excited and it will be so good for them both.

~ Lynda

F and his grandfather - this is the photo he is putting in John's coffin.

Last night's effort for dinner.

Stu took the boys out for afternoon tea after school pickup this week.  I think they loved it :) Apparently Stu 'had' to get a beer because the coffee machine was broken :):):)

This is where my daughter is going 'glamping'.  They have the use of a golf cart to get there and are totally secluded.

Inside the 'tent'.

A private bath overlooking the ocean... it looks amazing for them

Nearly Home

We've been away now for three weeks and it's been fun.  We are still loving the motorhome and the freedom of travelling where we want.  The last few days were spent helping Stu's father and having the motorhome means we all have our space.  I got on pretty well with him this time but by the last day it was time to leave :)

He is having a few medical issues and Stu was trying to sort out more help for him etc.  He is pretty capable day to day with things and just not bad enough yet to qualify for more help.  This is good except he is going to need compression stockings put on and taken off each day but he can't do that.  Hopefully we can get him referred to a specialist to determine his exact needs. There will be many more trips over to Whitianga in the future to help out or take him to appointments etc. For those who don't know, it's a 2.5 hour drive to his place and a 3 hour trip (from his place) to the Hamilton Hospital (if he needs to get there) and 1 hour 20 min trip to Thames hospital.  Then, of course, we would need to take him home and get home ourselves.  Hours of driving!

We did organise for his Dad to go to a weekly exercise class designed for his age.  It's mostly done sitting but lots of leg and arm work and he actually loved it and has vowed to go every week.  His muscle strength is terrible now and it's a wake up call for me especially to improve.  

An example of his lack of strength was one time he lost his balance and fell a bit while going up a step (Stu was helping him from behind).  He hurt his arm which bled a lot so now has to get that dressing changed at the medical centre.  

The next time was when we took him to his favourite pub for a Guiness and he needed the loo.  Off he went by himself while Stu got another drink from the bar.  When Stu got back I said that I was worried as his Dad was still not back.  He went looking and found that he was locked in a toilet and unable to get up off the seat! Stu had to get staff to get the door open and it was all pretty embarrassing for his Dad. He also could not get up from the dining table after dinner—mobility becomes such a massive issue and it was hard to watch him struggle.   

Being the outspoken person that I am, I did bring up the subject of the care home and village.  There are villas available where he could live independently but have care on hand.  Surprisingly he was receptive but to be honest, at nearly 89, he's left his run too late for the villa and will before too long might need the actual care home.

Stu's sister is being useless through all of this and even though she goes into Whitianga weekly and only lives 20 mins away. She has only seen him once since Christmas but has promised to pop in next week.  She has issues of her own that she's dealing with—all to do with her son who is basically a criminal.  The light in her life though is her grandson and she is pouring all resources and love toward him. Long story and too personal to share online.

On a sad note, our grandson F lost one of his grandfathers yesterday.  It was his birth father's father who he was close to. He was the most lovely man and we all liked him and his family.  He was a very well known man and in the 2012 New Year Honours he was appointed a 'Member of the New Zealand Order of Merit' for services to tourism. He was the man who started Contiki which is one of the largest Global tour operators.

So that's everything, we will probably go home today or tomorrow :)

~ Lynda

My best friend

First up, we are back in Whitianga to take care of Stu's father a bit - he needs compression socks put on an general help so we'll be here for a few days.  Hopefully Stu can organise more help for when we leave (especially for the compression socks!). 

Now, the purpose of this post is to give you a background about my friend, Anna, who we just visited.

This will be a long post

Turn back the clock to around 1977. I used to see this pretty, young, blonde girl pushing a pushchair past my house on her way to the shops. I didn't know her at this point but one day when I started taking my son to Playcentre, there she was with her little boy.  We started a friendship that has lasted forty eight years (so far). I was still married and she was married... we had get togethers as couples and also an ongoing friendship while our kids played.  I went on to have a girl and she also had a girl and our kids became friends as well.

Over time both of our marriages broke up but we remained friends although there was a time when we were not as close for awhile.  Life got in the way, she got new friends, I got new friends, I had a new partner, she had an obusive marriage etc.  In the late 1990s we rekindled our friendship to a new level (besties) and went overseas for a long holiday to US, UK, France and Italy.  It was such a fun time.  The next year we had another overseas holiday and we laughed our way through that. I can't even explain how wonderful it was to have such a close friend.

In 2001 I found a massive tumour in my left thigh and Anna, who was a nurse at the local hospital, pulled a few strings and managed to get me seen by the top surgeons who immediately sent me for an MRI.  That was inconclusive but I was told that if it was cancer, I might have to have my leg amputated.  I can't tell you the fear of having that operation and when I woke, Anna being there and telling me that it was OK.  It turned out that the tumour I had was benign but extremely rare and after testing in US, my surgeons submitted a paper about my case.  

Around this time Anna and I had so much fun—we both had boyfriends and so many laughs and fun for such a long time. Then she met her future husband and I met Stu.  When I decided to move from Wellington to Auckland it was a very sad time for us.  We'd been out somewhere and she had dropped me home and we sat in the car talking.  She cried and I cried.  She told me that I was her best friend in the world and that friendships are never the same when someone moves. I will always remember that conversation and when I  talked about it the other day she cried again. 

We remained friends long distance and we would go to stay with them and they would come to us. We had overseas holidays and many local holidays. We never stopped our friendship.

Her Cancer story

In 2006, actually on the night of my 50th birthday party, Anna confided in me that she'd found a breast lump.  She didn't mean to ruin my party but it explained why she wasn't herself.  It turned out to be cancer and she had a part mastectomy and other treatment.  The cancer seemed to go away for a couple of years but then it came back with vengeance. I remember in 2009, while away overseas, she was so ill that I thought she would die while I was away. With awful chemotherapy she got through that and again seemed to get well. 

Finally she found that the cancer had spread to many parts of her body and she had a massive tumour in her liver.  She was given a very short life expectancy but was put on the drug Herceptin which turned out to be a miracle for her.  I remember being out shopping in Auckland and knowing she was getting a full scan that day I was expecting the worst outcome.  My phone rang and it was her... 'it's gone, it's all gone'!!  was all I heard. The Herceptin had completely eradicated the cancer in her body and the doctors were gobsmacked.  They called her a living miracle.  

Sadly, Herceptin does not affect tumours in the brain and they found several there.  She has had two life and death surgeries to help but now there is nothing that can be done. She has been slowly getting worse over the last few years and can no longer walk or do anything without assistance.  She can no longer speak but seems to be aware of what is happening and is still 'inside' somewhere.  

We had a lovely few visits over the week and there is always sadness when we say goodbye.  I don't know what will happen but I do know that I am one of the lucky ones in life to have had (and still have) a friend like her. 

I have early photos of her and us but I'm travelling so can only put up photos I have on my online album.

Anna's wedding in 2003

Us ready for a fancy dress party... she has this photo on her wall in the care home!

At my 50th birthday party in 2006

On holiday at Surfers Paradise in 2007 after recovering from breast cancer treatment.

Mother of the bride, 2008

On holiday in Fiji 2011- she was very unwell after chemo and hated wearing her wig.

2024

This week... 2025

Back again

We have decided to travel back to Whitianga to visit Stu's father for a few days.  He needs compression socks on daily and can't do that himself and going through the aid agencies over there, we can't get any help for this either.  Stu will do it initially but we'll hopefully get someone to come in and do it (paid help).

Stu obviously worries more about him these days so instead of where we had intended to finish our time away, it will be spent back there.  Thankfully we won't necessarily stay there the entire time... I don't want to go completely crazy.

The other problem is that his granddaughter who was cleaning for him has not been able to go for a few weeks and now, just when she was about to start again, is sick with covid (quite sick too poor girl). Stu and I will take care of some cleaning as well.

We did have a brilliant time in Napier and I managed visit my friend three times.  She was really good at remembering the old times we'd had together but only by laughing or making a face. Her brain cancer is growing but we have no idea how bad as they no longer test her.  It is likely she will have a another seizure or something that she won't survive but there really is no knowing when.  

I really feel for her loving husband because his life has been in limbo now for a very long time.  Nothing is too much trouble for him but due to the situation, he can't move to be nearer his daughters and grandkids and he is basically living a single life. He is very pragmatic about it but it really is no life for him spending most of his day feeding and tending to my friend in the care home.  It's just sad all round.

Anyway, off to father-in-laws tomorrow, I can't wait (cough cough...)

~ Lynda

Travelling :)

We are currently staying at Napier on the foreshore in the motorhome.  We are here again for the Art Deco Festival - we enjoyed it so much last year so decided to come back.

I finally got back onto my bike today after many months of not riding.  I had no trouble and love riding on proper cycle tracks... easy stuff basically.  We've also been walking a fair but except my knee has been causing me problems again (my unoperated knee).  I think the time is coming when I will need a second knee replacement.  I got through today basically on pain killers.  I know it comes and goes but the day before last I literally couldn't even stand on it!  

I went to see my old 'best' friend Anna yesterday in her care home.  She was basically much like she was on my last visit except that she can't communicate at all now.  It's so incredibly sad because she wants to talk but just can't.  I know she understands what is being said so it must be awful to feel trapped with no speech.  She is not capable of typing a response so that's not an option. 

We will go back to see her and stay at her husband's place on Sunday... from there who knows?  We'll probably head towards home.

~ Lynda

Some recent photos...

Enjoying a wine at a local bar in town.

On the beach in Napier, that's the motorhome park in the back where we are staying.

On my ride today - it was fantastic to get out riding again.

We found this out on our ride... I didn't realise my riding top was the same colour until I saw the photo!

Onwards

We stayed the night at Stu's father's house and Stu took him to the doctor etc.  They are organising for some extra home care so hopefully that will happen.  I got on reasonably well this time, there was no point arguing with him about anything.  

We then went to Stu's sister's camp where we stayed the night and were joined by my daughter and family.  We had a lovely afternoon/evening swimming in the river, floating around in the river and just generally having a great family day. The boys stayed in the water until about 7pm and just loved it.  

Stu and son-in-law formed a channel with rocks so that the boys could go down the rapids on their blowup floaties. Hours of fun for everyone! The first boy down is Charlie followed by Cole.

Yesterday after a shared breakfast we moved on to Paeroa for the Highland Games event.  The weather is fantastic and the people here at the motorhome park as so friendly.  We are parked with a group called the "Freewheelers" who are basically mostly single motorhomers who get together for fun and support each other.  I met some amazing people at happy hour yesterday - I am just so impressed with how many women are out there driving motorhomes on their own!

The lady who amazed me the most was an elegant woman who turns 90 next week! Holy heck, imagine still being able to drive and manage a motorhome at that age?  She was fit and agile, an ex-ballerina and ballroom dancer.  She had the most wonderful life stories and I would never have imagined she was that age - certainly something to aspire to.

Today we are off the the Highland Games so I'll be getting in touch with my inner Scottish self for sure.  When I was a girl my parents would go to the Hastings Highland Games and I have wonderful memories of the dancing and piping etc.  Mum's mother was a Scot so I know my mother identified strongly with that side of the family.  Clearly I do as well :)

I asked Stu if he had any Scottish heritage and he said no (he doesn't care about that sort of thing) so I asked his father.  Yes was the answer, his great grandparents were Scottish and came to New Zealand in the late 1800s.

Anyway, on with the day... it will be fun (and tiring, lots of walking involved!).

~ Lynda

Our camp for two nights for the Highland games.

Away and having fun

For those following our motorhome blog you'll know what I've been up to... we finally got away after having finished all of our various appointments.  This trip we plan on being away for about three weeks but have no firm dates or restriction on when to get home.

My gastroscopy went really well.  There is no further damage to my oesophagus but I still need to continue having this examination done every two years.  I had deep sedation for this procedure and it never fails to amaze me how quickly you go to sleep!  

Tomorrow Stu is taking his Dad back to the doctor because he is no better.  We will be staying there for the night and the next day camping at Stu's sister's campground.  My daughter and her family will be coming over too so that will be fun.  After that we are off to Paeroa for the Highland Games.

This week at Waikawau Bay has been spent mainly walking and swimming... yes, I finally got to go swimming in the ocean each day and it was fantastic.

Life is good and we are loving having this summer fun.

~ Lynda

On our walk along the bay.

Looking down over Waikawau Bay.

The stunning beach this morning.