Shoot me now

My FIL is driving me crazy and I find that I need to spend most of my time out in the motorhome. Please excuse this little vent/rant because it is my only outlet for this.  

He is talking NON STOP. I mean he literally knows EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING and takes over the conversation at all times. I believe it is narcissistic behaviour, all about him, and have thought this for a long time.  Most things he does he seems to do so others notice and if he's not in control he has a hissy fit.  Just my opinion.  

Yesterday was the last straw for me when he was recounting the story the local priest had told him of his time in South Africa.  Apparently (and this will be news to you all I'm sure) there never was apartheid in South Africa!!!  Yes, the priest told him so and the reason he knew?  Because there was a bank that employed many black people!!!!!!  Holy shit.  So black people worked. How he construed that to "there is no apartheid" is beyond me... I had to leave before it got ugly.

Today I'll keep clear and then other family is joining us for dinner and cards so I'll keep my cool and shut my mouth.

~ Lynda

Coromandel family break

We had a really lovely time up at Mangawhai with my daughter and the kids - I know she enjoyed us being there too and thankfully we all got on really well.  Phew... if you remember last year didn't go so well.  

We came home for a day to restock the motorhome and do the washing etc and now we are over at Whitianga to visit/help Stu's father and also meet up with members of his family.  It should be a fun time and Stu's father is being ever so lovely to me!  He has thanked me for my help and has generally been good.  That is a relief.  

He is waiting to go back to the doctor to find out what is wrong with him as he's really been out of sorts.  His latest blood tests are back but I don't think they indicate too much but then, I'm no doctor! He has perked up enormously since Stu arrived and is very grateful for our help at the moment.  

My goodness the joy of having our own accommodation when we travel is priceless.  We stayed at the local NZMCA motorhome park last night (which gives us time to relax) and tonight will park outside the FIL's house (but still sleep in the motorhome).  Right now I'm in the motorhome while Stu is chatting to his father and it's wonderful to have my own space to get away to.

Life is very good, summer is here and we have a lot to look forward to.  I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and also have much to look forward to in the New Year.

~ Lynda

ps.  Listening to FIL talk ALL DAY is beyond me.  I've escaped to the motorhome more times than I should and I have no idea how Stu can sit and listen non stop.  It. drives. me. nuts. 

My favourite photo from Christmas day, Charlie getting a "Speed Poo" for a present.  It is a remote controlled plastic 'poo'... look at the sheer joy on his face!

Poor Duke was fascinated by the fast moving item!

The new bridge which has enabled the main highway to Whitianga to open up after being closed for nearly a year after severe storm damage. It's such a relief to the local community, especially to have it completed ahead of time and for the Christmas holiday rush.

Our park for the night looking over the Whitianga airfield.

Christmas

We are up at my daughter's caravan (in our motorhome) had have had a lovely time so far.  Everyone is happy, the food was wonderful and there were presents galore for the kids.  I do believe everyone had a fantastic Christmas Day!

The boys have been delightful and love having their Poppa around to help with their gifts (technical stuff) and love having me around to make the delicious desserts :)

We will stay here two more nights then go home for a night before heading off to Whitianga.  Stu's father is not too well so we are going there a little earlier than planned.  We are not sure what is wrong but his blood tests showed some markers for a few possible problems.  We could tell he was fairly distressed about it on the phone.

He (my FIL) sends out a Christmas email every year and shock of all shocks, I got a really positive write up about how much I've helped him with information regarding both his pension and internet service.  I did think that was rather nice of him.

My son-in-law and Charlie have both grown mullets for the summer.  Charlie is just loving his longer hair at the back!  It's really quite harmless and is giving us a few laughs.

I should mention that my ex-husband and his wife also joined us for Christmas lunch today.  Yes, we do catch up from time to time but there really is something just a little odd about sitting at the table chatting to the man who was your boyfriend and then husband way back in the 70s.  Oh how we have both aged :)

So that's our Christmas, a success all round. 

~ Lynda

My daughter with her birthday present from her brother

Charlie (aka mullet boy) decided to visit us at 6.30am yesterday morning!

The family minus Stu (he took the photo) and F

Our site for four days

Opening presents

Christmas lunch (that's my ex sitting across from me)

Counting down

We are nearly there... Christmas is in less than a week now and I'm pretty organised!  I have a hair cut appointment today and am looking after my boys off and on as school holidays start.  On Friday we are taking the two younger boys away in the motorhome for a night before heading to Mangawhai for Christmas with my daughter.  We will stay there a few days then will be spending New Year's eve over at Whitianga where there is a party being held by Stu's niece.  After that, who knows where we will go!!

While away the other day I was rather annoyed that I'd left my earpods at home - they were only cheap ones that didn't fit my ears well but better than nothing.  Anyway, when I turned around to the table Stu had put a lovely gift wrapped package there!  I kind of knew already what it was because we'd seen then a few days before at the shop and they'd been on special—Apple earpods!!  I actually had tears in my eyes I was so blown away.

He was obviously going to keep them for Christmas but could see how I needed them while away.  I love them!  They are the older style which fit my ears like a glove and are so easy to use.  I love that no matter which device I am listening from, they automatically know.  

Stu has a lunch out today and a get together tomorrow with people he used to work with so I'm sure he'll really enjoy the catchup!  

A little gossip regarding my daughter's boss... Did I mention that she knew he was having an affair with the lady downstairs in the building?  Anyway, while his partner was pregnant with this second child he started seeing this other lady and it turns out she is now pregnant!  So here he is with a brand new baby, a two year old and now a baby to this other lady.  Of course his partner dumped him but wow, what a tangled web of lies and deceit.  

OK, off to start the day.  Lots to do :)

~ Lynda

Happy me with my new earbpods

Kaiaua where we stayed a couple of nights

The NZMCA park at Kaiaua, that's us in the middle.

Thank you

Thanks lovely people, I really enjoy getting your comments.  I'm not feeling like a total grinch this Christmas and am finally enjoying the season (as long as I don't have to go near any more shops!). 

Yesterday we took off out of Auckland for a few days in the motorhome and then next week we have various appointments before heading off up north for Christmas itself.

Stu's family (not his father but he is invited and will probably come over during the day) are organising a camping holiday next January at the camp his sister works at and I'm looking forward to that.  It looks like my daughter and her entire family might go as well but if not, we'll still take the boys.

Speaking of Christmas, my daughter's husband's parents have done it again.  You might all remember how they totally ignore F ?  Well yes, another Christmas and they've done it again.  Presents for Cole and Charlie and none for F.  I mean seriously... how hard is it to send a little box of chocolates?

For those who might not remember, my daughter's husband (let's call him D) is actually a step-son himself, so out of all families, you'd think they would realise how important it is to include a step-son.  F has even taken on D's surname.  I suppose that, as this has happened for over 13 years, we shouldn't be surprised but it never fails to disappoint.

I have no idea where we are headed in the motorhome or for how long, I just know we need to be back for Monday.  

~ Lynda

Ray's Rest, Kaiaua Coast for the night.  Always a favourite place to stay close to home.

And there you go... no present (again) for F 

A wonderful weekend!

Trip Report:  Surprise, surprise... we had the most wonderful, fun and happy weekend.  We followed F and his Mum over in F's little car (just to be sure they and the car would be OK) and arrived at the motel mid afternoon on Friday.  Our accommodation was lovely—a full three bedroom house which had been fully renovated.  

We popped in to FIL's house and he was all very polite, even asking me to help repair his Santa suit (which I did).  That was the only interaction I had with him for the entire weekend, I was polite but completely kept out of his way.  He bailed others up and made some snide remarks but none of it bothered me thank goodness.

The party went fabulously well! A few of us had organised games and activities and the kids had a blast.  They had so much fun that my boys and some of the other kids stayed up until after midnight!  When Cole came home (my daughter and I left earlier) he said to me "Nana, that was worth waiting an entire year for".  

My daughter didn't drink much and instead had a really fun time.  I think she really enjoyed herself and even F stayed the entire night.  He played cards with everyone late into the evening and really involved himself with both the kids and adults throughout the day.  

At one point FIL looked at me and motioned for me to come and sit next to him, I just politely ignored him (pretended to be busy) and moved on.  I found his 'nice' routine hard to take after his nasty anger the other night and previous attitude to me.  He had plenty of others to chat to anyway.  I think Stu was happy that there were no dramas, he had a lovely night too.

After the children's gifts were given out there were a few for the adults which FIL had organised.  Mostly stuff he wanted to get rid off like old sets of cards etc but for me... of a special gift.  A desktop punching bag!  I shit you not.  Apparently a couple of weeks ago Stu's niece saw it and said 'you can't give that to Lynda' and he just said 'I'm 87 and can give what I want'. I just opened it, put it down and Cole said he'd love it.  I never acknowledged it at all to FIL.

The next day, on the way home, we took Cole and Charlie on a little nostalgic trip around Matarangi where we used to have the beach house.  They LOVED it and reminisced about all the fun they had there.  Cole even thanked me for going there—it was truly a joy to this Nana to see the smiles on their faces.  Charlie said he was in nostalgia overload.  

So there you have it, a fun time had by all... including me!

~ Lynda

Following F on the way over.  Stunning weather and the Pohutukawa trees were out in their beautiful red flowers the entire way.

Football on the field over the road from our motel

Even I had a few kicks (that's my daughter, me and F)

Lolly scramble for the kids... we even did an adults one after this.

Cup cake decorating which all the kids enjoyed (that's F in the background)

Charlie's creation

And Coles.  He was reluctant to join in but once he started I think he had fun.

Stu's niece, me and my daughter

Stu's nephew's husband Mr T, me and my daughter.  We just LOVE Mr T, he is the sweetest, most lovely, funny man. He just won the award for top Flight Crew Manager at Air New Zealand! 

Some of the kids, the ones who stayed up late... photo taken at 11.30 pm and they were still having fun!

Matarangi Beach, the boys visiting their old favourite spots

Family Christmas

Today we are leaving for Stu's family Christmas party.  This year we are staying in a three bedroom house and there are 6 of us which will be fun.  My daughter is in a better place mentally so fingers crossed, we'll all have a wonderful time!  

Then there is the issue of Stu's father.  Oh. My. God.  So here goes... Last year we all decided to take the burden off him and we've all organised the food for this party ourselves.  Each person has been allocated food to make and he was given the lamb, ham and Christmas pudding.  He ALWAYS does these so totally normal for him.  The rest of us have had a private message group going to organise everything else and this message group has now become more of a family chat group which is lovely.  

The problem is that Stu's father is not part of the group.  There are reasons for this... he can't read his phone and does not 'do' messenger. Also the group was set up to have communication between family members not only for events but also in case we need to discuss him as his health declines. Now he is completely going nuts because he's not 'in the group' so now Stu will have to add him later today. Yes, I understand that he feels left out but that was never the intention of the family. 

He is acting like a naughty child and when Stu called him last night he was just so angry and rude.  To be clear, he has been kept in the loop of arrangements the entire time, even to the point of some family holding a meeting at his place the other week to make sure he was included! He just denies all knowledge of that because he's being a total dick.

Oh what fun the weekend will be and I'm keeping right out of it!  Stu will be looking after him and doing damage control. We are all agreed that he is acting this way because he's not in charge.  He has the sort of personality that has to be No 1, in charge but in reality he just can't be now. 

Wish me luck, I'll need it considering I am usually his public punching bag.

~ Lynda

Stu helped F the other day with his car - cleaning, servicing etc.  F really appreciated it... Stu is such a good Poppa x

Out with my little (big) Charlie yesterday.

Home and busy

Who isn't busy this time of year?  I have the Christmas tree up (trying not to be a Grinch) and I'm nearly organised with presents!  I'm stuck on a few ideas but my darling daughter always has ideas.

This coming weekend we are all going over to Whitianga for Stu's family Christmas get together so that will be lovely.  We have rented a three bedroom motel so it will be a lovely family time for us—even the big boy F is coming along!  Thankfully my daughter and I went shopping the other night and bought all the gifts for the family party next week (9 kids to buy for). It's always a relief to have them bought and wrapped.

My daughter seems to be in a much better place these days so I'm anticipating we will all have a happier Christmas than last year which was absolutely miserable.  

I have completed all of the photo albums so am very happy about that.  I've done one for each of the boys, different ones for grandparents (my daughter pays me for those ones), one for her as part of her Christmas present and now I'm working on a surprise one for Stu.  I did one last year but never got it printed so hopefully I'll be able to give him that one and the 2023 album this year.  We have so many photos though it's really hard to choose the best ones, it's been quite a year!

On another topic, when we were in London in August, I hit my big toe on a metal doorstop.  It hurt like hell at the time and remained sore for a few weeks... now the damn toenail is nearly off! First it went grey/black in colour and then slowly I could see it coming away from the nail bed.  I have clipped it shorter and live in the hope that at least some of it remains!  I've never had this happen and it ain't pretty :)

OK, back to designing Stu's photo albums and catching up on rubbish TV. I hope you are all well and ready for the crazy season that is Christmas!

~ Lynda

It had to be done, we were passing the famous "Viv's Kitchen" in Shanon and there was no way I wasn't having a cream horn.  My childhood right there (my Mum always bought us one when I was little).

Mt Ruapehu, National Park

Our final camp before home in the middle of nowhere (well just south of Taumarunui but so isolated).  Just lovely.